Overall: 5 stars
Lyrics: 5 stars
Music: 5 stars

“Ladies and gentle man the superhorse powerstar rock team called Of NICELBACK have just came back for a reminding of how classic rock can sound if they have a guy at the front who make a grunting kind of situation into a heavy dose of rock song—best EVER for putting the petal to the metal and flying through Smokey and THE BANDIT country. Just forget about thining you might maybe not have a good time, cause you wont it Will BE GREAT its THAT GOOD.”

Pros: Maybe someplaced a lady broked his heart so got about nine kinds of great songs about it—sorry he had misery, but now we get to have some of it too.
Cons: Finally we get to hear what it sounds like when a world champion cage fighter sounds like making music for everyone to hear about it.

OKAY so you know the story by now that these guys have rode down from CANADA in a cramped up jalopy to escape all the coldness and the easy way of lifestyle up their where no body have to pay for anything except blankets because of the cold and walrus fat blubber juice to drink to provide safety to small children without freezing because of coldness. They were like ENOUGH, let’s Move to FLORIDA USA where the peopole all live who know whats going on and they will probably immediately like are music if we grunt it loudly and slowly so we don’t confuse anybody. Like two week later, all of AMERICA (still number one for five years in a ROW)is singingalong with NICKELBACK. It was like a punishment to not listen to them because one time that you do you are hooked like a blind dolphibn in a spiked net—and twice as delicious. So LISTEN—they drive all around AMERICA through the dusty praries, through the marble coastline and up through the native areas where the radio sounds like a jumble, driving all the time, grunting theyre song out to anybody who borrowed them a soda pop bottle with the kind you could of get five cent back for a deposit, so BOOMN theyre came the name NICKJELBACK and they were Like;whata great name for a band, lets choose it for us. It was not long after that that AMERCIA was LIKE welcome to the US boys, you have made some great music and we have just finally got around to liking you because there was not many other choices we had, so you got your turn now, thanks for make such a pleasant grunting racket where the one guy at the beginning of the group just make everything sound serious—that how we like it here in US off A especially in FLORIAD where the good times come up to eat you like a crockagator,. One of natures most fiercest animals ever. And LOOK thjey are still making this music today and the main guy barelyu even sound like he have got a sore throat for all that grunting he loves to do always. Listen to this silver coated grandma blanket of hits and songs: SHE DOTH SPORT A TIDY DOWRY, EAT THE DRAGON, A BLOG ALL ABOUT FARTS, JUMPCAKES, I DARE YOU TO STOP PUNCHING ME, MAN THAT WAS ONE BOOZY LADY, WAYLAND FLOWERS AND MADAM TO BLOCK, DREAMFINGER, FRESH PANTS ON AN INFECTED HOBO, COOKING WITH PEPPER SPRAY and the song they played for the guys in the moon rocket to remind them how fun it was to travel so far away, PELTED AT THE FESTIVAL. Foilks you just cant find anything else like this goodtime jam session so buy a copy and get ready to have a face that is like you just glued a SMILE on it FOREVER.

Overall: 5 stars
Lyrics: 5 stars
Music: 5 stars

“MAN OH MAN this is like a one big overdeflated beach ball of SUNSHINE sprinkling down in a bucket of good times to Be enjoy by ANYONE who like good times—can you imagine a hug that last all day long? Given by a pleasant expert name Randy? Then say hello to your ears and warn them that GREAT time are ahead for them due to this MAGIC experence!”

Pros:  ITS like two teams that a fierce deicded. Okay let not have a game against each other with only one can win, lets make this up together for a bunch of noise and get everybody let to win!
Cons:  One you put it on inside your Compac Disc playing machine, you well have a open mouth of not being able to believe yourself! ITS THAT GOOD!

Every bunch of times in a while you go MAN HOW DID I get to be lucky enough to understand and enjoy all this type of good time which is exploding all around me like someone gave a hungry Donkey a Hot Foot (old mean cartoon trick made out of matches to create a bad temper). Then along comes a unbelieveable creation that is one part wheelbarrow, the other part Funny CAR drag race car and the other part space powered submarine. The last part is just a guy sitting there.Lou REED famous for making grunting sounds with a band that made a big deal about saying how much they didn’t care that they didn’t eaven sound like they ever wanted to even ever bother about not even taking a single music lesson on a instruement, combine with the Metallica band famous for making SWEDISH blast furnace good times music for people holding a party in there car right over near the state line, Usuaully in darkeness on a Friday or staruday night. Forget about the COPS!And going Way FAST about it too –so they met up in a record Studio and they were all like OKAY WHO HAS the first IDEA? And LOU was like, count it off not to fast one two three, and he start singing the First song on LULU, called “There Is No Heaven Like A Bob Evans Breakfast” and the band METALAICA is clearly being excited to get there chance to just bang away like they just invented amplifiers and they half to hurray before the landlord sprays the dogs on them. You can almost hear the smiles. But then when you are listening and your all Like MAN THIS IS enough for ME I can be HAPPY just to here this thing once, they are like NO WAY SIT DOWN because we have about a TON TO TWO TONS of music left to melt on your FACE like a hydraulic decommissioned sanctifying redundancy clearance expert halitosis exlposslion.! The music JUST KEEP coming at you like nothing ever did before, until you almost half to want to ask the CD to hold on a Second while you let yourselve catch your breath inside your scared Heart. Listen to this one-drop gaucho stirrup handbasket of songs listed: GOOD GOLLY MISSACHUSETTES, TAKE A WALK ON THE SANDMAN, THE BOOGIE THAT HURTS PEOPLE, WAITING FOR MY MISTAKE, THROWING UP IN PUBLIC, DON’T PUNCH MY DREAMS IN THE FACE, BALLAD OF THE SOILED NECKBRACE, MUNGO JERRY STRIKES AGAIN, HASSLE STREET, MUMBLES VS. CLENCH THROAT, (TODAY IS) KING EDDIE ROESER’S BIRTHDAY, SOMETIMES I JUST EAT A WHOLE THING OF BUTTER, THE DAY THE SAXOPHONE CRIED ITSELF TO DEATH and the one song that make you get up and Dance like you owned a golden tomorrow from a pony named Forever, TAKE THAT LADY TO LUNCH! Just sit up for one second a Look Around—this Lifetime is a Great PLACE to be, and we have a Lot of Chance to be great about it., just thing about it for a change why dont you for once. This Compac Discs of song is like a flower that can talk like a human being and it says Here IS SOMETHING awesome for everyone, so get up close and take a Big SNIFF until youre face is all filled up with the Smell because you’ll will LOVE IT! WEELCOME BACK to music history Lou Red and METALLIC! Glad to be hurting with enjoyment thanks to YOU!

Overall: 5 stars
Lyrics: 5 stars
Music: 5 stars

“You will like this record CD disc so much that you will try to chew it up or something…”

Pros: They put in a bunch of great pictures and games and music words to sing along to inside the CD, plus also a word search which is my FAVORITE
Cons: This is like a hot baked recipe for FUN that’s ready in 20 minutes and taste delicious too, even FRESH

Check it out whens the last time you bought a CD disc of music songs that game with a book inside of it that was fill with games, recipes, poems from 7 year old kids (the one about the puppy is SAD but then get’s super funny, make sure to read it all the way through it) plus picture of the band guys (no girls this time, sorry, they are just dudes only in this fun time band—) probably you never bought one this FUN since maybe when you were a actual kid…but forget about that, this CD is a bunch of silly songs to sing and clap and dance and leapfrog and macaroni and cheese around the house with, while also holding a book inside with fun games for quieter times when you’re just sitting there chewing or watching something fun and polite on the television.

Even kids will love it too, because of what I mentioned just like a minute ago FUN. It’s almost got so much Fun inside of it that it’s like almost spilling out all over the place like a puddle. Or like something that got soaked with moisture and the moisture was really FUN in disguise and started glopping all over the place but you didn’t care because it was FUN. Well, here it is then, all that fun I have been mentioning over and over again like I was crazy about the word fun, and couldn’t of think anything other else way to say it.

Just breathe in this mentholated rubbing jelly of songs: YOUR SHIRT BUTTONS ON THE LADY SIDE, LET’S ALL WORSHIP SATAN, I LIKE YOU BUT YOU ARE WAY TOO FAT TO TAKE SERIOUSLY, MY FIST AND YOUR FACE ARE GOING TO THE PROM TOGETHER, GLUE-HUFFING MANIAC, LIGHT THAT TURTLE ON FIRE, OH BY THE WAY THANKS FOR MAKING ME INSANE, CELEBRITY NOSEPICK BLUES, and the great hit that all the kid’s are singing from the open windows of a school bus pointed on a field trip to Happyland, UPON CLOSER INSPECTION YOU HAVE A WEIRD POINTY FACE.

This is what I like to call Top Notch Fun, times one hundred. If you are little, or know someone who is little, young or even short (slower to mature, proven science fact) then put down this record CD in the thing, and let the instant fun times start up like a tickle party at a day care filled up with soda pop. Its THAT GOOD.

By: Britney Spears | Music

Overall: 5 stars
Lyrics: 5 stars
Music: 5 stars

Her m ost greatest album (CD) since “Oops I Farted In Church”

Pros: What do you do when life hands you a bucket of hard times?
Cons: You mix it up in a dance blender and pour it out on the entire nation…then it becomes a PARTY

Firest of all, WELCOME BACK to Britney Spears who made a brave experiment to leave the front pages of the newspapers and magazines to create a series of small babies with her husband Kenny Logghins. They had lot’s of fun running around or driving if they were in a hurry and their children came along for every minute of the fun. We learned theyre names (Brice, John-Glenn, Trig, and Iron Mike) and watchied them grow up before our eyes and all of a sudden she is practically a greandmother. Good for her! Plus her sister did the same thing and now she also have a bunch of babies climbing up all over her like a monkey looking for a good time. The more the merry.And good for US because she have (Britney)now decided HEY TIME TO MAKE A RECORD (CD of song disc) which tell of her experienced in creating these loveable new life forms (mention above in a list of names—rewind up a little to refresh the names for yourself—I’ll wait) and also make a bunch of fairy tales and children songs that kids off all ages will totally love listening to for their own selves, even if a parent is not forcing them to listen along and have a great time,.

Anyways, since kids also love the CIRCUS, she (Britney) have decided, hey lets make a record that contain all the types of excitements that you might find at a average circus (Yellowtooth the Clown, escaping animals with fangs, bike on a wire, juggle team, see saw jumpers, elephant mess) and let the kids go crazy hopping up and down while they listen. But don’t worry because theire are tons of songs on the record (CD) that the grown ups will love too, filled with wonderful graphic details about how babies can sometimes be made if the man has good dance moves or knows how to open up a bottle of shampainge without exploding all over the limosine. ITS totally fun and youre going to be singing along with this Old World Country Buffet of songs: RUSSIAN DRESSING SMOOTHIE, APE-FACE BOOGIE, MOMMY’S LITTLE SECRET VODKA SUPPLY, FAT PEOPLE SHOULDN’T BLOG, I BARFED IN THE APPLE STORE, RECURRING DONKEY THEME, IS BURL IVES STILL ALIVE?, YOUR MOUTH TASTES LIKE A BAND-AID, PAINFUL DANCE FLOOR SITUATION, CLEAN UP IN AISLE TWELVE and the thumpiest most excitable fun song to ever come blaring out of a small car until you can’t even hear you’re self think anymore but what the heck its THAT good plus its practically summertime already, STOP PHOTOGRAPHING MY YOU KNOW WHAT. Listen folks Britney have made a long long life of great hit music and stories since she escaped from Florida a long time ago. Lets understand her situation and begin a non-stop type of celebration along with her, it might be just the thing our country needs at last. I’ll meet you at the CIRCUS. BRYAN.evening. P.S. NOW you can email me (you half to plug in your computer first…try it, just typ[e the name, make up some words and DO it. thanks

Original Soundtrack

Overall: 5 stars
Lyrics: 5 stars
Music: 5 stars

This album CD of songs is so GREAT they ought to of made a MOVIE from it! its THAT GOOD.

Pros: Sit back and let this story of songs overflow all over the place, with you sitting in the middle of it
Cons: Don’t be worried about Vampires—they are just make believe stories—OR ARE THEY>??

Well, believe me here right now—this unsuual collection of song’s have a great things also—this CD was made out of songs leftover from when they were making a MOVIE involving handsome VAMPIRES driinking everybodys blood, not because it was delicious (have you ever tried it? Worst than cabbage juice and milk chunks put together—not as good as yogurt bombs, though) but because for a Vampires, blood is like gas for a car or soup from a camel. Drink up some cups of blood and you can live longer for a few more days of biting people and sleeping late. Sometimes the vampire (can be man or lady, usually a man, though sometimes a lady gets to be one) meets normal people, gets to be theyre friends then feels sad because he have to drink up all theyre blood—BUT the good thing is, after he bites them on of the face or neck (ears don’t work, not much blood up there) they become Vampires too, and they get to be friends. That makes up the story contain in the movie==the one handsome Vampire has to come to earth to teach the magic of Christmas, and there is a girl who doesn’t believe about it,(she is having problems at her job at the coffee place—no money, bad smells, a guy is acting all WEIRD about having a date with her), so this Vampire (handsomely acted by Larry Storch Jr.) has three days to make this girl believe in the magic of Christmas and start to learn to try to belief in herself and live a active lifestyle.

The girl portrays of the new actress to the Hollywood movie scene, Jane Plump, and she looks like she have a major talent for pretending to have wonderful skills of imagination. So now because of the MOVIE there is this whole CD compact music disc of songs—the songs are about natural Vampire excitement, wondering about ‘Can I kiss a Vampire without getting bited?’ , can vampires fly, what do they eat at a normal meal time can they just eat food or does it always have to be BLOOD?, and then theres also a funny dance song about doing a Vampire dance! its totally going be to the BEST part of your next Vampiure party theme! ITS that GOOD! Trust me on this one…just look at this great expectations of songsa—- TWO FANGS BUT ONLY ONE HEART, I’LL KEEP YELLING UNTIL YOU LOVE ME, LET’S GO TO THE RACE TRACK, I AM ONLY PRETENDING TO BE A PIRATE, INSTANT BISCUITS, BREAKDANCIN’ FEVER, WATERED-DOWN EXCITEMENT, GUESS WHO’S WEARING A HAIRPIECE?, I WON THIS STUFFED ANIMAL FOR YOU and the exploding gas-pack of dancefloor excitement that i was telling you about before, DON’T GET ALL FRANKENSTEIN ON ME. so listen, if you Like Movies and then half to hear the songs again and again after you have watched the movie, then here is a great idea for you to do—go home and buy this album to enjoy re-experienceing all the movie best moments for just before you came out of the movie theater to buy the album an dlisten to it. You dont have to thank me anymore, but just congratualte yourselve on a excellent choice. BRYAN E.

Overall: 5 stars
Lyrics: 5 stars
Music: 5 stars

Sometimes you hear something and you just cant belieiv e it! Well this is IT

Pros: it’s like a gift)
Cons: Theres about like 25 songs altogether—you cannot stop, because it keeps going! Just our LUCK!

Listen, some of you can remember her from her television show, wear she plays like the host lady’s always asking the quietstions from blue notebook cards like we had in school—the show is a EXCELLENT one, called CELEBRITY KNIFE FIGHT. IF you dont remember, then just grab your local TV and click around with the thing until you find IT. ITS THAT GOOD, you gotta watch. Anyways, BEYONCE ask the querstion and then theres a answer, and if its wrong –BOOM, here come’s the knife. Look out! She is also the spokeslady for Atkinson’s Diabetes Socks, which is a good cause and make her lots of money and friends.But then one day she decided to make a albums full of SONG. This one is fortunate to be on CAMPACT DISC (CD), and it’s almost like nothing else you would of ever heard of, even though its got not even one knife on it, but still plenty of fighting. She decided to became the most popular lady singer since Barbare Stresshand made The Great Gatsby, everybody saw the movie and it was all like OK she can sing and dance and act in a movie, what else cant she do? Its Like BEYONCE has become the new senseation like Barabeare S., singing dancing, acting, getting her picture took on every magazine they have by the gum when you are paying for the food you just bought. Not just food for you or other humans, but cats food too sometimes depending on if you have a cat or not. If you don’t, Forget it! Don’t buy the cat food! Save the money expecially during these tough times for American Wallets. So, talking about value for the money, let’s get back to Beytonce, she was like OK, if we half to charge money for this thing lets fill it up with songs so it lasts the whole time the person is in the car driving to a place and listening to Beyonce. It keeps going with the songs. And believe me there is a whole roasted pig bangquet of songs to listen to, just watch the next words for some of then songs:– EATING CRACKERS WITH A GOBLIN, A GOOD FRIEND IN A LOUSY MOOD, THE DELINEATION OF A HYPOTHESIS, WHO FARTED IN THE LIMO?, DADDY’S LITTLE MONEY MACHINE, THE GRUNTING DANCE SONG, MEET ME AT APPLEBEE’S, I DELETE ALL YOUR WEIRD EMAILS WITHOUT READING THEM (REMIX), YOU ARE THE SPROCKET THAT ROCKS THE DOCKET, PARTY IN OUTER SPACE, and who can forget her greatest duet singalong with D.J. Killing Machine, the greatest song to make the dance floor a insane region to be, LET’S GO ON A RAMPAGE OF POLITENESS. If youre are like me, plus most of American, then you are way too excited about this CDisc great new music. you are probably jumping up and down—i think thats a gREAT IDEa.i don’t blame you—I am going to start jumping along also—thanks for the great idaea about Jumping!BRYAN